ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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