Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i would punch a child for taco bell
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
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