If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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