I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
