I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
