I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
