I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
