Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
