The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
