i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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