He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize