He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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