Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
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