i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
