Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
