just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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