I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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