Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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