Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
