discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
