She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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