she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
