I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My ass is underappreciated
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
