New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The air was thick with penises
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
