So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
