Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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