Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
