today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
