I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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