The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Randomize
