I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
