She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
