i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
