Plan B is the new Plan A
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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