My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
