i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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