you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
