he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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