On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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