what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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