Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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