Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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