Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
