last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
