all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
