i just wanna soil my oats bro
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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