We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
