Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
