and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
