I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
