i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize