Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
