Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
