I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize