What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
