Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
