So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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