im about as happy as oj after his trial
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
