don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
