Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
