Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
