So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize