yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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