did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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