Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
